The Power of the "and"....
Image by Tim Mossholder (@timmossholder) via Unsplash
As we move towards the end of 2025, I’ve been reflecting on the practices that help my clients take brave steps forward in healing. One of the most powerful practices (in my humble opinion) is incorporating the word “and.”
When we practice using the word “and” we join together two or more thoughts, feelings, observations, experiences, physical states, etc. rather than pitting one in opposition to another. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that there are only two options (we all do this!) and forget that we can experience many things simultaneously. In fact, we can string many “ands” together because lots of things can be true for us at one time.
This powerful, self-compassionate practice allows us to honor the multitude of emotions, thoughts, and experiences we have as a human. The word “and” breaks us free from dichotomous thinking and helps us embrace our (very human) complexity.
Let me give you two examples of the power of the “and” that come up often in my sessions with clients.
#1: “I really want to break free from restrictive eating and I’m so scared to add new foods.” The “and” in this captures that you can experience a desire to be free from disordered eating behaviors and be scared to incorporate new foods. When we approach this from a place of “and” we can experiment with what it might be like to add something new and handle the fear that arises during the process.
#2: “I dislike the current iteration of my body, and I fear judgment from others if my body changes, and I recognize that my feelings about my body are rooted in the thin ideal.” The two “ands” in this sentence capture a multitude of experiences. All of the following can be true at one time- someone can be struggling to accept the current iteration of their body while being concerned about judgment from others and also recognizing that this might be influenced to a great extent by internalized diet culture beliefs. When we string these “ands” together we’re able to honor the depth and richness of our experiences and tend to what’s coming up for us as we grapple with this complexity.
I invite you to consider how you might start incorporating the word “and” more frequently.
Where do I start?
You might start by bringing some awareness to how often you use the word “but” in conversations and communication.
If it feels accessible to you, I invite you to start replacing the word “but” with the word “and” and see how this feels to you.
How does using the word “and” shift your perspective?